What I learnt about Miley Cyrus this week

1. She may have changed but her fan base hasn’t

It’s Tuesday evening,  and I am sat In the O2 with a Cosmo, I am surrounded by flocks of teenage girls and gay couples. Majority of the girls have squeezed into teeny shorts that barely cover their bits and bobs. Some have bleached boy hair,  and others wearing their newly brought t-shirts with either BANGERZ  written on or a young women’s face with her tongue rolling up their tummies.

Yes this is a Miley Cyrus concert I am about to attend.

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(Me and My brother- who got the tickets since falling in lust with her since Wrecking Ball)

We sat down in our seats with a view of multi-colored balloons floating around the arena and ALOT of hormonal girls squealing.  I honestly was quite surprised at how young the general audience was. I thought Miley was trying to get away from that with this new image…

What was more shocking was the parents who hadn’t got the memo and have  accompanied their fresh faced daughters to the gig. Have they been locked in a box for the past year?

We had a family behind us, with a boy and girl both between eleven and fourteen with the parents either side. I wanted to turn around  and save the parents from a very uncomfortable few hours..

“Go somewhere for dinner, a bar, anywhere..!” 

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It was too late. the lights had gone, the music had started and the squealing had hit an all time high.

2. She has just discovered swearing

The famous tongue slide appeared and Miss Cyrus slid down,in a sparkly silver costume

…innocent enough.

But then she spoke:

“I’m back mother fuckers! These mother fuckers, I sear, they’re trying to kill! yeah right, bitch! These bitches they’re trying to fucking kill me! I’m not going down without a mother fucking fight!. I’m here and alive mother fucker! who’s ready to mother fucking party?!”

Who’s trying to kill you Miley!?

what’s the common symptom of pot again?

3. What? wait? Miley smokes weed!

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O if nobody knew before, they know now.

“After the show I will be getting stoned

“I am going to sing, ‘why do you only call me when your high?’”

(pointing at the crowd) “Ah wow they are so stoned over here!”

I hardly doubt it as they are fourteen… with their mums. 

“You know weed has never killed anybody”

(but it has made people paranoid.. like’ doctors are trying to kill you’ ..type thing)

Note to Miley: I am aware Americans are a bit more strict on drug laws but here in London, England when your in your twenties, the shock factor has warn out.

On the bright side she has given up smoking. She tried to justify why- as if she was telling the popular girls at school. It made her look old and smell apparently and boys or girls didn’t want to make out with her. That’s why she does weed.

..trust me Miley half the audience don’t know what you are talking about the other half (their parents) are worrying that they do. 

4. She likes to talk through her problems (with the whole arena)

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We seem to end up having a therapy sessions throughout the concert. This consisted of five minute  ‘one on ..20,000’ session about her issues.

Obviously being poorly for two weeks and missing some tour dates was a big issues (PR Manager alert), O and her foot was also sprained by cleaning because she had OCD. Let’s not forget her dead dog and the Chinese man who told her to talk about her dead dog and so she cried about it and that made her feel better which means she could heal. There was nothing we could do but listen because just like The Jeremy Kyle show-

 This was The Miley Cyrus show!

5. There’s a vulnerable side which you can’t help to see.

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There was a point in the concert she sat on her stool, singing Bob Dylan to an acoustic set. It was then I thought, this girl is a year younger then me and there she is entertaining the whole of the O2 for two hours. That is something that is a world away from me.

Earlier on in the show she has a wardrobe malfunction (her skirt got stuck around her cowboy boots) See I would just want to run off and cry but she just swore her way through it and carried on.

It’s an odd mix: one minuet she is admiration to me, she is twenty one putting on a world tour, she can sing and entertain a crowd for two hours. However, the constant talk about sex, weed, drink the constant crotch grabbing only highlights her immaturity, as if she is just school girl trying to impress the popular crowd. 

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