Mary Lou’s Broke and Single New Years Eve

New years 2012 I was in Bristol talking to a 19 year old underwear model about her botox. She was seeing one of the guys in the group however things got messy and she ended up screaming down the hotel corridor at 3am, banging on all the doors.

We never saw her again.


New years 2013 I organised a house party. All was going well until our Paralympic rower friend cut his foot so badly I spent the evening wiping up blood puddles from the floor. O and the sick on the sofa from a man in Ralph Lauren.


So this year I thought no more and had a quiet one in the St Ives in the “Rum And Crab Shack”. Unfortunately none of my friends could travel to the other side of the country so I ended up spending NYE with my mum resulting in an evening of people asking me “where are your friends?”

St ives tradition is everyone in the town does fancy dress.


I was the New Years Resolution Fairy


The idea was to walk around asking people to write in my book their new years resolution. Excellent pulling technique if everyone wasn’t over 40..

From what I can remember I had some corkers, but after a session of Tarquins I lost the book.

2014 was a great year, I became a South Londoner, served a canapé to Theresa May, gave Pimm’s a real purpose in life and ironed Jame’s Martin’s shirt ….but I to have a few resolutions for the new year:

The Wellington Arch is one of London’s most beautiful monuments


not a place to do yoga.

stop getting advice from these people:


By all means have a drink but know your limits:


Happy New Year!

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