My ‘Friend-zoned’ Weekend

When I was younger I used to wonder about why I was so short and the only rational reason I could come up with- is that, I am meant to marry Dec.


(the one on the right)

When I was 12 I had the biggest crush. I used to re-watch my VHS of SMTV every day, read their autobiography, then one day managed to get their autograph from a friend of a friend and I remember waiting by my window for the post man to deliver it…

Yes it’s meant to be because I am one of the few people who will make him feel tall. I know, he’s engaged now but that is simply terms and conditions and nobody gets into those.

Everyone (exaggeration) knows that they live in Chiswick and so when my old film school friend, Sam the Camera Man who also lives in Chiswick wanted to go to lunch I was quite happy to roll off Jess’s sofa early Saturday after a long drinking session which ended up looking like this… (i think she is still alive..?)


 to catch the tube it to Chiswick town for our catch up, even if I am still in the same work clothes from yesturday.

I had done a bit of research and  Old Station House was the perfect fit:

1.They claim to have the best Bloody Marys in the world
2. A newspaper report claimed Ant had been there (and when there is Ant, Dec can’t be far behind…)

I haven’t seen Sam for nearly two years but at film school we got on very well and spent long Sundays in O’Neills gossiping with vodka.


I stumbled into the pub with a hang over he was at the bar also hanging. We had a long movie hug.
“You need to buy new clothes” I said whilst hugging it out, he was in the same purple hoody I had left him in when we were 21.


We both went to order the best Bloody Marys in the world….

and this is it:


I have walked a mile in a dress for this.

review soon!


Now the plan was I would have lunch with Sam then head back to Parklife’s (Dan’s) birthday. Our house was going to have a party then stroll down to Brixton to do some clubbing. However, Sam and I had so much to catch up on, we still had stuff to say after our lunch and post drinks at the bar


 so he invited me back to his house (no not like that)

We brought some prosecco and chatted on his sofa. Then my old friend Charlie walked in, also had some of the best times in film school with him….


Then if that wasn’t enough two lovely girls came in, sam’s flat mate Cat and her friend Emily, we all got on very famously. It got to around 9 pm and I was going to leave but then Wayne’s World, my favorite movie was put on and there was still prosecco and some marshmallows and well that is very hard to walk away from….


I woke up the next day rolled off of Sam’s sofa (still in my Friday work clothes) and did ‘what seemed like’ the walk of shame back to the South, I was feeling pretty bad that I had missed Park-life’s birthday and was thinking of ways to make it up to him.

When I sheepishly walked in girls and boys scattered around my house, looking like they had just got come back from the dead I stood over Park-life who had crashed in the lounge.

“I am sooo sorry I missed your birthday can I take you out to make up for it??”

“why yes you can, I want to go to HONEST…”

I tried to persuade him off of it because I still had a marshmallow belly but he insisted (and when Park-life insist….)

In case you are wondering I have now finally changed my Friday work clothes.


Honest didn’t disappoint of course. This time I tried the chicken burger, I did attempt it once on a date but i couldn’t do it justice because I was too busy  pretending I was sophisticated.

Park-life and I were looking out the window for pretty people; He saw a girl sat out of the window I persuaded him to put a napkin up with a message. Unfortunately she mouth that ‘she had a boyfriend’ but Dan immediately became an Honest hero.


We carried on a crawl around the market to Chicken Liquor, Seven, Market House, Brixton Grill all whilst having a debate on relationships.

We differ quite a lot on taste and often enjoy a good debate on what we find attractive. He doesn’t get why i get freaked out when men have their oblique muscles bulging out…


(it’s freaky)

Parklife says I ‘friend zone’ myself. I don’t know what he is talking about.


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