Don’t Sneak Off With The Queen’s Head! My Afternoon Tea At Palm Court, The Langham.

The last time I had contact with The Langham I was calling them to help my mother out for a favour
She had got in a panic calling me outside an Apple store ” these blue t-shirt men are too busy to find an iPhone charger and my battery about to die. Please I need you to ring the Langham for an emergency!”

This emergency turned out to be the James Bond she hired to serve a shaken martini to her friend needed a place to change and keep his stuff.

Needless to say the Langham’s receptionist was helpful yet baffled on this request.

It all worked out in the end.

Now this time it was my turn. Farrah and I had afternoon tea in the diary for a while and who would do it greater than the great Langham itself! The tea is based in the Palm Court, a grand lounge-bar which is good enough for Kate but service which makes you feel at home like Pippa at Wimbledon.

We sat in a cosy corner surrounded by mirrors and chandeliers with well dressed tables around us.

…The first decision was tea.  I went for strawberries and kiwi whilst Farrah had ginger.

Second the champagne… Laurent perrier

We sat back with our bubbles and listen to John the pianist tinkle out Adele.

This is a great Sunday

FYI John the Pianist supported bands at Glastonbury this year.

The sandwiches arrived with all the favourite flavours (chicken, cucumber, egg…) but this is no Shell garage..

Cucumber with cream cheese and chives

Burford Brown free range egg and mustard cress

London cured smoked salmon with whipped brie and rocket

Smoked mountain ham with Comté cheese and white truffle oil

Corn-fed chicken with tarragon mustard and plum tomato

An instagramers dream…

It was then that Farrah had a confession…

‘so I may have been for a small pub lunch before I came…well I thought it would be small but a whole sea bream turned up and I may have finished it off with a soufflé for pudding…”  

She ate her plate but for ‘little sea-bream filled’ Farrah  she had to turn  away seconds to save room for the next course.  I on the other hand had relied on Birds Eye frozen peas to keep me going till four and so…I went back for more which was the ham, my favourite.

Looking around the room there was a range of fellow tea-ers

Glamorous mature women who still takes tips from fashion week.
Some families from around the world believing this how the English live on a day-by-day basis and…

Dates

Dates. Now if you ask me afternoon tea is not a place to bring the hairy chested ones.

They don’t want to drink pink tea and sandwiches
I don’t want them to drink pink tea and sandwiches
Those little egg cress can really stuck in your teeth.

No for me, this is your girl time and so happy about this when the scones arrived…

Once you get to know me you will know I am pretty messy when it comes to ..well anything.
I could end up with crispy duck in my hair just walking through China Town.

example

Here are Farrah’s scones

And mine

… flaw

Meanwhile John is still gently tapping out some chart hits and Farrah is squashing as much scone in as possible. These scones are too good to leave and she knows it.

A cereal box american family sat down next to us; perfect looking parents, a young boy and a girl with a huge hat that would make Ascot ladies jealous.  I felt like we were on the Titanic (without the sad ending of course)

The last tray was presented which held the most delicate pastries I have ever seen.

I wanted to yell over to the American table: “SEE HOW WE LIVE!” But that wouldn’t be very British of me.

Wedgwood Tea Cup – White chocolate mousse, tropical jelly and dark chocolate sablé  (my favourite one…so creamy!)

White Cameo on Blue – Strawberry and white balsamic Victoria sponge

Daisy Teapot – Cinnamon shortbread cookie

Hathaway Rose Motif – English Rose and lychee log (another top!)

Kouglof – Chocolate, raspberry and lightly roasted pistachio financier

They even made the queen’s head out of marzipan. I wanted to take it home and show people. Farrah said it would crumble in my bag. I didn’t listen and my coins were sticky for the next couple of days.

Just a heads up the glue is for presentation only…#TriedAndTested

Tea time had come to an end on that note.

but you can’t leave the Langham without going to the best cocktail bars in the world. No seriously. The Artesian Bar is a must do in your life.

Farrah ordered the new Surrealism menu… and this is what came out.

You need to try this yourself.

Then we were kindly given a couple of shots of You’re So Gangsta a slushy vodka based cocktail with dried sweet raspberries. A perfect summer drink and i would have ordered a large one but…

I of course went for the Bloody Mary:

shall we?

Garnishes 4.5 coloured red salt on celery, juicy green olive, gherkin and pickled onion. All fresh and unique

Taste: 5 wow full of flavour and made out of freshly squeezed tomato juice (i asked the recipe but it’s a secret)

sweat test: 5  I was asked and it was of course delivered to perfection. – hot! loved it.

Glass 3 solid quality which suited the bar.

Presentation 5 so much going on and using baby garnishes is beautiful. The ice was shaped like balls.  I had a straw and a bowl for my olive.

bonus point (1) waiter was amazing, gave me a low down on Bloody Mary’s.

Overall 23.5/25 can we expect anything less from the best bar in the world?

Now that is my afternoon at The Langham. Afternoon tea followed by a naughty cocktail… a treat not just for London but for the whole world to try (with or without James Bond)