Bumming Out At Ascot Racing.

Last Saturday I was lucky enough to experience horse racing in a box

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Every Brit knows when it comes to the races there are three main things to accomplish

1,Look your best to go to a field

2. get drunk whilst looking your best in the field

3. Win some more money, whilst drunk looking your best in the field.

Leaving an after thought of…. o look! A horse! 

As a true Brit I had my outfit in my head; a summery pink number, I once tested it at the races two years ago. 2015 races here we come…I had  a little tug, held my breath and….it fits! I was so proud of this moment that I took a selfie..

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twenty minuets after this photo was taken

…RIIIIPP. 

O. God. No. I reversed into a mirror, peeped behind and there it was.

A  tear. Right in the middle of no mans land.

NOOOOOOOO. 

My train was about to leave and my dress will make any Daily Mail journalist leap for joy. great. To make matters worse I was saying in my Dad’s house so I had no other option with me.  I called my mum.

she told me to calm down and go buy a dress from town.

I did as I was told and soon enough the whole of the New Look staff were helping me change.

……

“NICE ORANGE DRESS!” 

(it’s pink)  Thanks Dad…where are you? 

I was standing in a crowd now in a safe maxi pink dress

I CAN SEE YOU

where?

Up here!

I  gazed around the sixth floor stadium for a short man with brown hair…

….

Oddly enough  I finally located my box and began the day.

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(photo Joe Newnham)

None of us in the family particularly like horses but it has somehow been part of my life.

Maybe because  excessive betting and alcohol is acceptable as it’s done in front of horses.

Or perhaps a horse is the only animal that you can ever name drop to better your status in society.

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 Never the less it is a  good day even I never win, odds are for the weak.

What I do enjoy is the free bar, catching up with people and the weird things they do to your food….

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yes that fish does have blueberries for eyes

and

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asparagus in it’s mouth.

#awkward

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I could go into details about my day at the races but we all know the drill! We drank, They ran and I didn’t win

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a shame really, I could have got my money back from my new dress.

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