Preparing to Live In Sin

If you saw a baby blue Fiat 500 driving down the M4 early in January and thought how can they possibly see out of their back mirror? Then you would have driven passed me.

After two years of living with three men I realised my time was up of the home of Tinder, pizza and Fifa.

Not one to travel lightly, I packed my car and drove off to the nearest storage unit…In Oxford. I have now made the decision to move in with my boyfriend and he insisted our 18 square meters can’t hold my cardigan collection.

I know I will have to explain to God that the rent in London at the time was extortionate which is contributing to my choice to ‘live in sin’. In fact, he should really be having a firm talk to the greedy bastards who made the property prices pure robbery.

More importantly what’s the point living else where- It won’t be half as fun with anyone else.

Living with the Male is not a worry, besides I have had plenty of practice In the last two years. In typical blog style here is the five things I learnt:

  1. They think a giant TV is what the lounge needs

IMG_2578.JPGyou think Lamby the rug is more important.

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Lamby was soon shoved in the closet along with the smaller tv and attempts of sound systems.

2. Women are tidy, men are messy- Is a pure myth. I rightfully so was on the receiving end to a passive aggressive message of “The only contribution you bring to this house..is dirt!” 

3. Tinder is a skill. It demands careful strategy, execution to achieve a goal in limited time.  If successful ear plugs are a must.

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4.  It was a severe disappointment  to find out what men really got up to when the women were away.Unfortunately  there is no singing about the girl they met or perfectly choreographed dance sessions.

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No the cold reality is ‘ football..football..she’s fit…fifa…hunger….drinking…football…fifa….she’s fit….football ‘

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5. Cooking. To be fair, Pete used to cook a spicy stew at the start of the week and have it every night till the weekend, Dan had pesto stir fry and Big Bro Joe microwaved old pizza- all was fine with their skills, until they experimented….

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So yes men can cook but let’s not push it.

Goodbye Fifa posse it’s been great…even when I misplaced my courgette.  x

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